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Equally Yoked Dating

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" (NASB)

Two different animals shouldn't be yoked together on the plow. In Judaism, the ox was considered clean, whereas the donkey was considered unclean. Not only that, but these animals have different natures and different strengths and abilities¹. If you put them together, the plow will probably go in a circle instead of straight, because they are not equally matched. The passage in 2 Corinthians 6 is not a marriage passage. Paul is writing to the Corinthian Christians and exhorting them to not be bound together with non-Christians. This includes marriage, but it also includes business and other relationships as well. He is not saying we should have nothing to do with non-believers; he is saying we should not be "bound" to them in ways that can affect our walk with the Lord adversely.

Do you get the point? A Christian and a non-Christian have different natures, and they are not equally matched spiritually. After our relationship with the Lord, marriage is the most significant relationship in our lives, and God doesn't want us in that relationship with a non-Christian.

What about Missionary Dating?
Missionary dating is a Christian dating a non-Christian for the purpose of evangelism; at least that's what they claim. I believe most people who do this have the wrong motivation. Instead of doing to to glorify God and lead the person to Christ, they do it because they are attracted to the person and they figure if they can lead him or her to Christ then it will be okay to date and, possibly, marry this person. They're probably feeling desperate and/or impatient, and they don't want to limit their options by restricting the pool of available partners to Christians only. For every person you can show me who did this successfully, I can show you ten people who are married to non-believers and are miserable. It's a really bad idea and it's wrong. You should never date someone unless you believe there might be the potential for marriage, and since God has commanded us NOT to marry non-Christians, then you should not date them either. Even if the person did get saved, now you have a "baby Christian" who will not be as spiritually mature as you. You're still unequally yoked to some extent, and that does not lead to a fulfilling relationship.

Early in my walk with the Lord, I found myself in this very situation. I was attracted to a girl I worked with, and we went out a couple of times. I thought "She'd be great if she'd come to know the Lord." The funny thing was, she ended it because it was obvious to her that we were not compatible. She was used to hanging around with people who drank, smoked and said crude things, and I was very different than that so it made her uncomfortable. She actually cried as she told me this. She apparently didn't know how to respond to someone who treated her with respect and kindness.

Brothers and sisters, don't compromise. Be patient (please read my article Patience) and wait for God's best. Don't give in to the temptation to date a non-Christian and then think you can lead them to the Lord. Are you going to disciple them and help them mature and catch up with you spiritually as well? I don't think so.

"The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
-- John 1:5 (NASB)

¹ Wiersbe, W. W. The Bible Exposition Commentary (Logos electronic edition). Wheaton, Ill.: Victor Books, 1996.