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How do I decide how much time to spend with her (or him)?

Q: How do I decide how much time to spend with her? I mean, of course I want to spend every waking moment with her, but I don't want to damage my other relationships, or distract or annoy her. I just end up being selfish, or at least feeling like I am. I know God doesn't want me to avoid her, but I also know that it's not good to spend all my time with her. How do I strike that balance? -- A.M.

A: It's natural to want to spend "every waking moment" with a new girlfriend, especially in the beginning.  You are wise to note that you could damage other relationships or distract or annoy her, and that you could be selfish about it as well.  I recommend talking with her about her expectations for time spent together, and see what her thoughts are.  If this is the beginning of a relationship, resist the temptation to spend too much time together.  It would be better to spend more time on the phone, getting to know each other without the distractions of going out and without the physical aspect (i.e. attraction, chemistry) confusing things.  If this is the right relationship for you, then you'll never regret taking your time.  If it's not the right relationship for, you'll be grateful you didn't get carried away with it.  I would suggest that once or twice a week (on average) is sufficient as far as being together.  There is nothing wrong (in my opinion) with talking more frequently on the phone, but I wouldn't go out more than once or twice a week.