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We have only formally dated for 3 months. But already, he wants to marry me.

Q: I feel we have advanced too quickly. We have only formally dated for 3 months.  But already, he wants to marry me. The problem is, I'm not ready. First of all, I am still figuring my way out in life. Second of all, the even more important factor is that I am not sure whether he is the one, either--and this I am afraid to tell. I am not very comfortable with parts of his personality (including the part on his views on sex). Maybe with time and love I can overcome the imperfections of his, but now I am not ready. He has successfully refuted all my reasons for not getting married early but this one (which I can't tell). I don't know what to do. I feel so pressured. How can I make him understand that I love him but I'm not ready to make a commitment yet? -- Carrie in Rochester

A: Carrie, I agree that three months is too quick to say you want to get married.  I believe an absolute minimum amount of time is one year before you make a decision to marry someone.  If your boyfriend is pressuring you, that is a cause for concern.  Why is he in such a hurry?  If you think things are moving too fast then they are, no matter what he thinks or says.  If he's not willing to honor your feelings and make whatever adjustments you feel you need, then this is not the guy for you.  Tell him what you are comfortable with, and if he's not willing to slow down and do what you ask, send him away.  That is not what God wants for you.  Don't let him pressure you or push you into doing anything you don't want to do.

Based on what you have told me, your boyfriend seems more concerned about himself than about you, which is not what God wants for you.  See the verses I gave you earlier.  Instead always trying to refute and argue, he should be listening and doing whatever he can to honor your needs and requests. Read Philippians 2:4 and 1 Corinthians 10:24, and ask yourself is that's the way he treats you. Somewhere, there's a man who will love you, serve you, listen to you, and put your needs before his own. Don't settle for less than God's best!