|
Christian Dating Home > Christian
Dating FAQ >
I have known the boy I am now dating for almost 7 years. His family is Muslim but he says Christianity is what he wants. My father has a problem with this. What should I do?
Q: I have known the boy I am now dating for almost 7 years.
He is not yet a Christian, but has told me that Christianity is what he wants.
However, here lies the problem. His family is Muslim and he feels a lot of
pressure to obey them while he is under their roof as well as he wants to
make sure that when he commits his life to Christ that it is for the right
reasons. AKA not me. My dad is having a real problem with the fact that we
are entertaining a dating relationship b/c of what it says in the Bible about
equal yoking. I honestly do not know what holds my boyfriend back from committing
his life to Christ, but I wish there was some way I could help him without
getting in the way. I think once he becomes a Christian my dad would be a
whole lot more comfortable with the situation. Also, my dad does not agree
with two people being together who have different religious backgrounds.
I disagree with this thought. That would mean that Christians are only supposed
to marry those that have been raised as Christians? I don't think that is
what the Bible tells us. However, I'm having a tough time finding any evidence.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks :) -- LT in Texas
A: Hello LT, I believe this is a difficult situation and
if I were your father I would have a problem with it too. Please read
my article, Equally
Yoked Dating:
There are good reasons why God instructs us to not be equally yoked. I
believe the best way you could help him, and yourself, at this point would
be to end the relationship with him. I know that might sound harsh,
but I say this for the following reasons:
1) I wonder how interested in Christianity he would be if you weren't
a Christian.
2) Even if he makes a profession of faith he will not be a mature Christian
man, which is what you should desire in a husband. The principle of
yoking also applies to the relative strength of the two who are yoked together. Think
about a strong, mature ox yoked to a newborn ox. The strong ox would
pull the plough in a circle and the plough would never get anywhere.
3) With his parents being Muslim (which generally means he is Muslim
too) there might never be peace in his family and if you marry him your marriage
would cause much difficulty in his life and in his family.
4) As long as you are with him, you will never know if he makes a profession
of faith because of you or because it is genuinely an act of faith on his
part. By ending the relationship, he then must decide to continue to
pursue Christ or not without your influence.
5) As a follower of Christ you must not marry a man who is not a believer,
period. He's had seven years to come to faith and hasn't. What
makes you think he ever will? Christian women who are in love with,
and especially those who marry, men who are not saved are generally quite
miserable because of the unequal yoking. Eventually, some of these
men will come to faith in Christ, but many will not and every day these women
must face the reality that the man they love is going to hell when he dies.
Because of his Muslim background, your boyfriend probably feels like
he must choose between you (and Christianity) and his family (and Islam). In
his culture family and Islam are not easily separated, in fact, in many countries
he would be killed or at least disowned and considered a disgrace to his
family.
The Bible does not say that Christians must marry only those who are
raised as Christians. However, you do need to consider the social,
cultural, and relational issues that would affect your relationship with
this guy. These are real issues that have a significant impact on your
relationship.
Remember: This is not about choosing a religion. This is about
choosing a relationship with the Risen Lord Jesus Christ.
|
