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I don't feel like he cares about my relationship with christ. He does not strive to make me or himself a better christian.

Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years. I love him very much and i know he loves me to. The only problem is, i don't feel like he cares about my relationship with christ. He does not strive to make me or himself a better christian. I feel that i have always shared my beliefs openly and honestly and have let him know on many occasions how i feel about the situation. I have always wanted to marry him. However, i want us and our future family to have a positive, lving relationship with christ. I feel so confused right now. Is it time for a break? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! -- K in Houston

A: It sounds to me like you have some valid concerns, although since you didn't give any specifics I'm not sure exactly what the issues are.  It sounds to me like either you are a believer and your boyfriend is not, or you are more spiritually mature than he is.  I believe it is important that both of you be on the same page spiritually.  In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul writes that we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers.  So, the first step is to make sure your boyfriend is truly saved.  If not, then the Bible says you are not to marry him.  Additionally, I believe the principal of being unequally yoked can be applied to two believers as well.  The expression refers to two oxen yoked together for plowing, and if you yoke together one strong oxen with one weak oxen they will not go straight.  Instead, they will go to the left or right or, if the difference is great they will go in a circle!  So, I think it's important that you not be with someone who is very different from you in terms of spiritual maturity.  For a woman, that means she should not be with someone who is less mature spiritually, because I'm concerned about him being a good spiritual leader. 

What I suggest you do is sit down with him and tell him exactly how you feel and what your concerns are.  The way he responds will most likely tell you a lot.  Do not put yourself in a position of having to be the spiritual leader, or having to initiate the spiritual aspects of the relationship.  Seek the Lord's wisdom and discernment, and be prepared to do what is necessary to protect your heart and to glorify and honor God.